


Letters Home

by Rinkafic



Series: Misc Fanfic [1]
Category: Farscape
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-03
Updated: 2012-04-03
Packaged: 2017-11-03 00:18:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/374954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinkafic/pseuds/Rinkafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was for a prompt: "character born a different sex"  - so John Crichton is Jane Crichton and Aeryn Sun is a guy.</p><p>Written specifically for Farscapeland’s podfic challenge, because I’m terrified of reading dialogue, especially dialogue I have written.</p><p>The <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlZF2efV2Lw">Podfic is Here</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters Home

Hi Dad.

I know it’s been a while since I did one of these, but things have been really… strange. I know exactly what you’d say to that lame excuse, “Janie, everyone can make time for family.” And you’re right, so I have. I miss you so much Dad.

I’m sitting here thinking that all of this would have been easier if I’d been the son you always wanted. I don’t think a guy would have had half of the problems I’m having out here. A son of yours would probably have been strong enough to hold that stick and keep from hitting Crais’ brother coming out of the wormhole. But I did, and that started the whole mess, in retrospect.

Wormholes suck, Dad. They really do. Why did you let me get obsessed with them? No, I guess that’s not fair, astrophysics was my own fault, I liked it, I used to like it. And I did badger you to help me network to get into the program, so that’s my fault too.

Can you hear this silence, Dad? I am blissfully alone, for the moment. Go ahead and laugh. I know I used to complain at the beginning how everyone avoided me and I was lonely and then I started recording these things just to hear a human voice, even if it was only my own. But they’ve grown on me, most of them, anyway. Today D’argo, Chiana, Rygel and Stark took the shuttle and went down to a market planet that we found – they went shopping. Chiana has my share of the last salvage money we took in and she promised to buy me something soft and comfy to wear. I really don’t expect to get any change out of that, I’m sure she’ll keep it as a finder’s fee or something.

Don’t worry; I’m not alone up here. Aeryn’s here somewhere. I tried to make him go too but he won’t leave. The big pest is hovering and smothering me these days. He wouldn’t let Zhann go with the others; he insisted that she stay on Moya in case something happened.

Well, I guess it’s time to fess up. You’re going to be a grandfather, Jack Crichton. Congratulations. We didn’t intend it to happen, but it has, and we’re making the best of it. Apparently humans and Sebaceans are genetically compatible. It’s kind of funny how my big stoic Peacekeeper has turned into a Nervous Nellie overnight. But he’s making me nuts, Dad. Were you this overprotective of Mom?

You always drummed into me and Livie how important family was. I guess I was listening. These people have become that for me over the years. They’ve stuck with me through all the crazy crap that happened. They rescued me over and over; from Crais, from Scorpius, from those Kidnapping Surfer Dudes, did I tell you about that? To make a long story short, I got snatched by these stoners that lived on this beach and kidnapped uhm… tourists that came there to hold them for ransom. Aeryn was pissed! I think that was the first time I realized that he kinda had feelings for me. Up until then, I really thought he hated me for getting him tossed out of the Peacekeepers. It got better after that, it got a lot better after that.

Scorpius did something to me when he had me in the chair. It scares me a lot Dad. Sometimes I even fear for my sanity because I can’t tell what is real and what’s a daydream. It’s like I have this little tiny Scorpius in my head taunting me all the time trying to get me to obsess about wormholes with him. He wants to know about wormholes, always the wormholes, nothing but the wormholes.

He appears in my dreamy-dreams too. The other night he was Mr Snodgrass, you remember my seventh grade science teacher, right down to the polka-dotted tie and baggy khakis. Well, Scorpy Snodgrass drew this diagram up on the chalkboard and ordered me to come up and fill in the blanks. All the blanks were equations that I worked on for the Farscape project. Weird, right?

What is it with these people and wormholes? I swear they are ten times as obsessed with them as I ever was. I so apologize profusely for every paper I wrote and made you read and discuss with me Daddy. I’m sorry. Now I know how you must have felt.

I have a lot of nightmares. I think it scares Aeryn. He doesn’t seem to dream; at least he never mentioned one to me. My dreams used to be about Earth, and you and DK and Livie and getting home to all of you. Then for a long time, I dreamed of Crais and the time he had me prisoner, and of Scorpius and that stupid chair. Then I mostly dreamed about Aeryn and they were dreams I don’t intend to share with my Dad.

The dreams of Aeryn were painful during the time he was missing. I was so lost without him. I hate thinking about that time. We’d just figured things out and things were so good between us and then he was gone. I’ll apologize again for those recordings; I know I cried a lot. I’m sorry, didn’t mean to distress you, if I did.

Now, I dream about Moya, and being safe. I dream about bringing Rygel and Zhaan home someday. I dream about our baby and wonder if it will look like Aeryn. I think I’d like having a little boy, a tiny copy of him following him around the ship.

Well, I hear Aeryn calling me, so I’ll stop for now. I know I can’t come home to Earth again; I’ve gotten used to the idea that I won’t see my Earth family again.

But I am home here now. I have a place in a new family. They’re a crazy bunch of psychos, but I love them, Dad. I’m not alone anymore. And I’m happy.

I love you. Bye.


End file.
